What I Learned from Not a Life Coach by James Smith

 

I didn’t pick up this book expecting to feel seen — but that’s exactly what happened.

James Smith’s Not a Life Coach isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself in the polished, Instagram-ready sense. Instead, it feels like sitting at your kitchen table with a straight-talking friend who loves you enough to challenge you, make you laugh, and call out your excuses — gently, but firmly.

Right from the start, Smith makes it clear: he isn’t here to tell you what to do with your life. He’s here to help you notice how you’re getting in your own way.

The Chimp in the Room

Reading the book reminded me a lot of the ideas in The Chimp Paradox — something I’ve written about before. Smith talks about our emotional brain, our habits, and the stories we tell ourselves that keep us stuck.

He has a brilliant way of explaining things simply. Instead of complicated psychology, he uses everyday language and relatable examples — like why we scroll instead of resting, procrastinate instead of acting, or criticise ourselves instead of showing kindness.

I recognised myself in so many of his pages.

Accountability Without Shame

One of the things I loved most is how he talks about responsibility.

Not in a harsh “you should do better” way — but in a realistic one. He gently nudges the reader to take ownership of their choices, without drowning in guilt.

For me, this was powerful when thinking about my goals — especially around money, creativity, and how I use my time. It made me ask:

• Am I truly trying?

• Or am I just talking about trying?

That’s uncomfortable — but helpful.

Rest as Productivity

Another theme that stayed with me was how Smith reframes rest.

So often we see rest as laziness. But he argues that proper rest is actually what allows us to show up better in our lives. This really resonated with me living on an island, where life naturally moves at a slower pace.

Sometimes doing less is doing enough.

Why This Book Fits Frugal, Island Living

You might wonder what a self-help style book has to do with frugal living. For me, it connects deeply.

Frugal living isn’t just about saving money — it’s about living intentionally. It’s about knowing what truly matters, letting go of what doesn’t, and being honest with ourselves about our habits.

This book helped me think more clearly about:

• Why I buy certain things

• Why I avoid certain tasks

• Why I feel overwhelmed

• Why I sometimes drift instead of act

And that awareness is priceless.

My Takeaway

If you like gentle honesty, a bit of humour, and practical reflection without preachiness, this book is worth your time.

It didn’t change my life overnight — but it quietly shifted how I see myself, my habits, and my choices. And sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

Have you read it? I’d love to know your thoughts — especially which parts resonated most with you.

50 today….how did that happen

 So today I have been alive for half  century. I am not sure where that time went.

As I tiptoe up to my 50th birthday, I keep catching myself pausing in doorways, mug of tea in hand, thinking: How did I get here so quickly — and yet so slowly?

Fifty feels like a strange mix of milestone and homecoming. Not dramatic fireworks, more like the warm glow of a table lamp you finally realise has been guiding you all along. I don’t feel “old”; I feel lived in — like a much-loved house on the Isle of Wight that creaks in places, but is full of stories, laughter, and light pouring in through imperfect windows.

When I look back, I see chapters that have shaped me deeply:

• Years of social work that stretched my heart, sharpened my compassion, and taught me to listen for the voice of the child beneath the noise of adult chaos.

• Seasons of creativity — scrapbooking, photography, crafting — where I learned that making something beautiful doesn’t have to be fancy to be meaningful.

• Quiet hours in nature: watching birds, chasing waterfalls, breathing in sea air, and feeling God’s presence in the small, everyday miracles.

• A life woven with music — a bit of 1950s rock ’n’ roll spirit humming in the background — reminding me that joy, rhythm, and play still matter.

And woven through it all is my family: my husband beside me, our faithful dog at our feet, and countless cups of Diet Coke shared with friends, laughter, and prayer.

Turning 50 isn’t about what I’ve lost; it’s about what I’ve gained:

• Clearer boundaries

• Softer judgement (of myself and others)

• Deeper gratitude

• And a calmer sense of purpose

I’m less interested now in rushing forward and more curious about slowing down — noticing the sunrise over the water, tending my home, writing, creating, and nurturing the people and places I love.

If anything, this birthday feels like crossing from “trying to build a life” into “living it on purpose.”

Fifty, I’m ready for you — gently, gratefully, and with a heart still open to wonder.

Here’s to the next chapter:
More faith, more creativity, more nature, more love — and yes, still a little rock ’n’ roll. 💛

February – A Gentle Month for Frugal Living

 Sorry for the absence, work got a little overwhelming.

February often feels like a quiet turning point in the year.

January arrives loud and determined with resolutions, fresh planners, and high expectations. By contrast, February comes softly — cooler, slower, and more reflective — making it perfect for gentle, mindful, frugal living.

Here on the island, February has its own character. The sea can be dramatic, the sky moody, yet on calmer days you sense the first whispers of spring: longer light, braver birdsong, and tiny buds appearing on bare branches.

Making Do and Making Space

February is a month for using what we already have rather than buying anything new. After the busyness of Christmas and January’s “fresh start” spending, it feels nourishing to slow down and live simply.

This is a gentle time to:

• Use up forgotten cupboard ingredients

• Rotate food in the freezer

• Mend clothes instead of replacing them

• Tidy small areas rather than doing a big declutter

Even small acts — like turning leftovers into soup or reusing jars for storage — remind us that frugal living is creative, not restrictive.

Cozy Home, Calm Mind

February invites us inward. Candles, blankets, warm drinks, and quiet evenings become treasures.

Simple rituals that cost little but mean a lot:

• A warm drink by the window in the morning

• A short beach walk, even in the cold

• A few pages of a book before bed

• Writing three things you’re grateful for

Winter isn’t something to “get through” — it’s a season to inhabit slowly.

Love, Kindness, and Connection

With Valentine’s Day mid-month, February naturally turns toward love — but not just romantic love. It’s about kindness to ourselves, our families, our neighbours, and our community.

Frugal ways to celebrate love include:

• Writing a heartfelt note instead of buying a gift

• Baking something together

• Taking a walk hand in hand

• Making memories rather than spending money

On a small island, connection matters. A smile, a chat, or a helping hand can mean more than any present.

Looking Toward Spring

By the end of February, a subtle shift arrives. Winter still lingers, but hope begins to bloom.

It’s a lovely time to ask yourself:

• What do I want to grow this year?

• What do I want to let go of?

• How can I live more simply, kindly, and creatively?

February teaches us that growth doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes the most meaningful changes happen quietly, slowly, 

“However your February unfolds, may it be gentle, creative, and kind — to you and to the world around you.”

The Mindful Art of Space Making — A Transformative Guide to Creating Calm

 

The Mindful Art of Space Making — A Transformative Guide to Creating Calm

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by clutter, chaos, or a lack of space — not just in your home, but in your mind — The Mindful Art of Space Making offers a grounded and gentle retreat into intentional living. This book isn’t about minimalism as a fad; it’s a mindful, compassionate approach to clearing space so you can breathe, think, and live more fully. 

📘 About the Book

Title: The Mindful Art of Space Making: How to Declutter When You’re Overwhelmed
Author: April Scott Tandy
Published: September 22, 2024 (Flume Canyon Publishing) 

This book guides you through decluttering with intention instead of pressure:

• How to make space without burnout

• Ways to handle emotional or sentimental items

• How to build momentum with quick wins

• Transforming your physical space leads to greater clarity and calm 

It’s ideal for readers who want realistic, step-by-step support — not just lofty advice.

Buy the book (UK):
📚 The Mindful Art of Space Making on Waterstones — https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-mindful-art-of-space-making/april-scott-tandy/9798991222907

Kindle & Paperback (Amazon UK):
📚 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Art-Space-Making-Overwhelmed/dp/B0DDBXB69W

🎥 Videos & Decluttering Inspiration

While the author’s own videos focus on transformations and mindful space work, there’s also related content inspired by the book’s approach:

📺 Official & Related Videos

https://www.youtube.com/live/oQADNue2ybA?si=u_t8oKBAK2rahTan

This video ties to the book’s central themes — you’ll see real stories of decluttering progress and hear directly about the mindset behind mindful space making.

Other user-generated videos feature people applying the Space Maker vibe in real life:

• 📺 Ruthlessly Decluttering 50% of her Closet — https://youtu.be/ms6xXp6J4v0

• 📺 Empowering Julia to Become her Own Space Maker — https://youtu.be/e0le0H8qSDU

• 📺 Tackling 10 Years of Clutter Mindfully — https://youtu.be/ItL2C26u8GE

These before/after style videos capture the practical side of space making — the process, challenges, and emotional release of creating order.

🧠 Why Mindful Space Making Matters

The magic of this approach is that it treats decluttering as a mindful practice — not a weekend project or chore checklist. Instead of just storing things away, you learn to:

✨ make peace with possessions
✨ choose what truly serves you
✨ create room for what brings joy, purpose, or calm

As many reviewers have remarked, this book feels like a supportive friend guiding you through overwhelm rather than shaming you for where you are now. 

🎯 Final Thoughts

The Mindful Art of Space Making is more than a book about tidying; it’s about reshaping your relationship with your environment and your inner life. Whether you’re just starting or you’ve tried decluttering before, this resource offers a path that’s kind, practical, and deeply human.

Life on a Small, Sea-Edged Place

There is a special kind of peace that comes from living somewhere surrounded by water. You feel it in the slower pace, in the way the seasons shape daily life, and in how people still notice one another. It’s a place that teaches you to breathe a little deeper and live a little softer.

I love how nature is never far away here. Even on the busiest days, you’re only minutes from open sky, winding lanes, or a quiet shoreline. It reminds you that the world is bigger than your worries, yet small enough to feel held.

The Gift of Slower Living

Life here encourages a gentler rhythm.
Things don’t always happen quickly, and strangely, that feels like a gift. You learn patience. You learn to plan. You learn that not everything needs to be instant to be valuable.

Shops close earlier.
Conversations last longer.
Time feels more intentional.

It’s not about missing out.
It’s about tuning in.

Community Still Matters

In a smaller place, people matter more.
You notice when someone hasn’t been around for a while.
You recognise familiar faces.
You learn that kindness travels faster than gossip if you let it.

There is comfort in being known.
Not in a spotlight way, but in a someone would notice if I wasn’t here way.

Seasons Feel Real

The seasons don’t just change the weather, they shape life:

Spring brings hope and fresh starts.
Summer brings light, colour, and busy days.
Autumn slows everything and wraps it in gold.
Winter draws people inward, towards home and warmth.

You live in tune with nature rather than fighting it.

A Frugal Kind of Rich

Living in a place like this teaches you to value:

• Walks over shopping trips

• Homemade over bought

• Time over things

• Peace over pressure

It’s a quieter kind of wealth. One that doesn’t shout, but lasts.

Home Feels Rooted

There’s something grounding about knowing your surroundings deeply:
The lanes.
The coastline.
The rhythms of local life.

It makes your home feel more than just four walls.
It feels like part of something living and breathing.

Why I Love It

Because it reminds me:

• Life doesn’t need to be rushed to be meaningful

• Beauty doesn’t have to be loud

• Simplicity is not small, it is powerful

• Belonging matters

It’s not just a place to live.
It’s a way of being.

Why the Miss Read Books Feel Like Coming Home

There is something deeply comforting about the Miss Read books. They don’t shout. They don’t rush. They don’t demand anything of you. They simply open a door into a quieter, gentler world and invite you to sit down for a while.

In a time where everything feels fast, loud and complicated, the Miss Read series is a reminder that life doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful. Small moments matter. Kindness matters. Community matters.

And that feels like success to me.

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The Magic of Fairacre and Thrush Green

Miss Read’s villages, Fairacre and Thrush Green, are places we all secretly long for.
Not because they are perfect, but because they are human.

People misunderstand each other.
They gossip.
They make mistakes.
But they also show up, forgive, help and care.

There is warmth in the ordinary:

• Tea in china cups

• A walk to school

• A neighbour calling by

• A village fête

• A quiet conversation

It’s slow living in story form.

---

Why These Books Feel So Safe

When I read Miss Read, my shoulders drop. My breathing slows. My thoughts settle.
It feels like stepping out of the noise and into something softer.

These books remind me:

• You don’t need to be extraordinary to be valuable

• A simple life can be a full life

• Kindness is powerful

• Stability is beautiful

There is no pressure to “achieve” while reading these stories. Just to be.

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A Gentle Kind of Strength

The women in Miss Read’s books are not loud or dominating, but they are strong.
They are dependable. Observant. Practical. Loving. Wise.

That kind of strength resonates deeply with me:

• Strength that steadies rather than overwhelms

• Strength that nurtures rather than controls

• Strength that builds community quietly

It’s the kind of strength that lasts.

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Miss Read and the Art of Simple Living

These stories echo so many of the values I try to live by:

• Frugality

• Contentment

• Mindfulness

• Gratitude

• Home-centred joy

They remind me that happiness isn’t found in more things, but in deeper appreciation of what already exists.

A warm kitchen.
A tidy table.
A handwritten note.
A familiar routine.

That is richness.

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Books as a Form of Rest

We often think of rest as doing nothing, but sometimes rest is choosing gentle input.
Miss Read’s books are like emotional nourishment. They soothe without numbing. They comfort without distracting.

They are perfect:

• Before bed

• On a rainy afternoon

• When life feels heavy

• When you want reassurance that goodness still exists

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Final Thought

The Miss Read series isn’t about escaping reality.
It’s about remembering what really matters within it.

Community.
Kindness.
Simplicity.
Belonging.

And every time I return to those pages, it feels like coming home.

Do We Live Under a Snow Shield?

They are forecasting snow for parts of the UK at the end of the month/ beginning of next month but will it come to where I am.

Every time snow is forecast for the UK, there’s a familiar mix of excitement and scepticism here. Maps turn purple and blue, warnings are issued, social media fills with dramatic predictions… and yet, more often than not, we look outside and see rain, wind, or simply cold air with nothing magical falling from the sky.

It often feels like we live under some kind of invisible snow shield.

Places just a short distance away are posting photos of thick white blankets, while we’re standing there with a damp pavement and a mild sense of disappointment. Again.

So Why Does Snow Rarely Reach Us?

Being surrounded by sea has a huge effect on weather. Water holds warmth much longer than land, especially in winter. That means cold air systems that bring snow elsewhere often soften as they approach here.

Snow needs cold air and cold ground.
By the time weather systems reach us:

• The air has warmed slightly

• The ground isn’t cold enough

• Snow turns into sleet or rain

It’s not that snow doesn’t try to reach us… it just doesn’t quite survive the journey.

Watching the Forecasts

We become experts in hope and realism:

• “Maybe this one will be different”

• “It looks close on the map”

• “If it shifts a little east…”

• “If it cools overnight…”

And occasionally, we do get lucky. A light dusting. A fleeting white morning. Enough to make everything feel magical for a few hours before it melts away.

Those moments feel rare and special because they are.

Will This Forecast Come Close?

If the wider UK is expecting snow, then yes, we may feel its edges:

• Colder winds

• Frosty mornings

• Heavy rain instead of flakes

• Maybe sleet

• Possibly a brief flurry

But deep snow settling is unlikely unless:

• The cold is already well established

• The system is strong

• The timing is just right

We live on the border between winter magic and coastal reality.

The Silver Lining

While others dig out cars and slip on icy pavements, we often stay:

• Safer

• Milder

• More sheltered

Our winters are gentler. Less dramatic, but kinder on daily life.

And when snow does arrive, even lightly, it feels like a gift rather than a burden.

Final Thought

It really does feel like there’s a snow shield around us.
Not because winter avoids us, but because we sit in a place where land and sea constantly negotiate what kind of weather we’re allowed to have.

So while the rest of the country braces for snow, we’ll be watching the skies with cautious hope, knowing that if a few flakes make it this far, they’ve earned their place.