What I Learned from Not a Life Coach by James Smith

 

I didn’t pick up this book expecting to feel seen — but that’s exactly what happened.

James Smith’s Not a Life Coach isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself in the polished, Instagram-ready sense. Instead, it feels like sitting at your kitchen table with a straight-talking friend who loves you enough to challenge you, make you laugh, and call out your excuses — gently, but firmly.

Right from the start, Smith makes it clear: he isn’t here to tell you what to do with your life. He’s here to help you notice how you’re getting in your own way.

The Chimp in the Room

Reading the book reminded me a lot of the ideas in The Chimp Paradox — something I’ve written about before. Smith talks about our emotional brain, our habits, and the stories we tell ourselves that keep us stuck.

He has a brilliant way of explaining things simply. Instead of complicated psychology, he uses everyday language and relatable examples — like why we scroll instead of resting, procrastinate instead of acting, or criticise ourselves instead of showing kindness.

I recognised myself in so many of his pages.

Accountability Without Shame

One of the things I loved most is how he talks about responsibility.

Not in a harsh “you should do better” way — but in a realistic one. He gently nudges the reader to take ownership of their choices, without drowning in guilt.

For me, this was powerful when thinking about my goals — especially around money, creativity, and how I use my time. It made me ask:

• Am I truly trying?

• Or am I just talking about trying?

That’s uncomfortable — but helpful.

Rest as Productivity

Another theme that stayed with me was how Smith reframes rest.

So often we see rest as laziness. But he argues that proper rest is actually what allows us to show up better in our lives. This really resonated with me living on an island, where life naturally moves at a slower pace.

Sometimes doing less is doing enough.

Why This Book Fits Frugal, Island Living

You might wonder what a self-help style book has to do with frugal living. For me, it connects deeply.

Frugal living isn’t just about saving money — it’s about living intentionally. It’s about knowing what truly matters, letting go of what doesn’t, and being honest with ourselves about our habits.

This book helped me think more clearly about:

• Why I buy certain things

• Why I avoid certain tasks

• Why I feel overwhelmed

• Why I sometimes drift instead of act

And that awareness is priceless.

My Takeaway

If you like gentle honesty, a bit of humour, and practical reflection without preachiness, this book is worth your time.

It didn’t change my life overnight — but it quietly shifted how I see myself, my habits, and my choices. And sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

Have you read it? I’d love to know your thoughts — especially which parts resonated most with you.